Missing My Dad on Father’s Day

Almost the entire globe is celebrating Father’s Day today. A one-day special tribute to all the men who choose to be a responsible father or accidentally became a father and to all the father-figure who dedicate their lives raising their beloved children. Just like the role of a mother, a father’s role is also irreplaceable. One day isn’t enough to make them feel special, they should be appreciated everyday of the whole year for all their sacrifices and selfless contributions as the head of the family. A father is the symbol of strength that binds the whole family together. Once they loss, it’ll be hard for the rest of the family to cope from pain and it takes time to bring back the strength as a family.

I never got any chance to celebrate father’s day with my Dad because we lost him when I was only nine years old. When he was alive, father’s day celebration wasn’t that famous. And the time I spent with my Dad was only short because he worked out of the country most of my childhood. He spent years working miles away from us just to provide and prepare our future. Unfortunately, he was already sick when he came back home and spent most of his time in the hospital before he died. I never had the chance to get along with him for longer years. There were very few memories I had with him that I cherished until now even more than 30 years has already passed. I remember how he carried me on his shoulders even he’s already sick and he always did a magic trick before going to sleep. He also used to cook for us even he’s body was already half-paralyzed. Simple gestures of showing how he loved us that I definitely won’t forget.

No single moment I didn’t think of him while I was growing up. I have a lot of if’s on my mind. What if he didn’t die early? What if he’s on my side while I grew up? What would be my teenage life if he’s around? Eventhough I knew already the answers, I still want to feel his presence. Maybe if he was given a chance to live longer, we will celebrate Father’s Day regularly. He deserved to be given a blast because I know he’s a responsible and a dedicated father to us. Maybe our life wouldn’t be the same like this if he’s still here with us. Maybe my Mom wouldn’t suffer much and would live happier.

Losing a parent at a very young age was like losing a part of my soul. The grief, sadness and pain were lessen with time and gradually went away in a natural pace. But the longing for his presence is a lifetime emotion hidden deep within my heart. There were really times I missed my Dad so much, especially whenever I needed a father-figure and with times like Father’s Day.

If I’ll be given a chance to go back in the past, I wouldn’t change anything, I just want to spend a day with my Dad to celebrate Father’s Day with him. I’ll take a photo with him because we didn’t have any. I’ll play and eat with him. Anything will do as long as we’re together, even for a day.

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