40 Days Before My 40th

I know that age is just a state of mind and it’s just a number, but somehow I can’t avoid to think that in 40 days from today, I’ll be turning 40. And I’m grateful to reach that milestone. I’m not actually doing a countdown, birthday is not a big deal for me, it’s just an ordinary day as everyday. But in some point, I am expecting that on my 40th, it’ll be special, somehow.

They said life begins at 40 which has a complex and deep meaning for everyone. What really life is after four decades of existence? Is it different? Is it more challenging or more comfortable? Is life more meaningful after 40 years?

Well, I think the answers will depend on me because it’s my life anyway. But maybe before I become excited to look forward, it’s better to reflect what I did for the past 40 years of my life. It is usual for people upon reaching the age of 40 to be stable already, have a good job or business and successful career and a family of their own, which is an opposite of me right now. I should say, I’m still on the process of finding and uncovering what’s my real purpose in life. Some acquaintances judged me of being late in life, that in my age I should have been married already, have children, successful career and so on.

I believed that every individual has their own time zone, everyone has their own clock. It may not be my time yet to be married or to be successful like others of my age. And it doesn’t matter whether I am late for these stages of life. All that matters for me is that I did enjoy living my life for 40 years. Of course not all that years were happy, there’s also some point in my life that I’ve wanted to give up. There’s some failures, regrets and wrong decisions, and what’s important is that I get up many times and learned from my own mistakes.

Yes, I maybe late of being a fulfilled woman, I am not successful yet, but I know it’s never too late. I still have a long journey to take after reaching my 40th. And I will continue to enjoy my life even after 40 or 50 or 60 years. Because that’s me. And though I still have a lot of things to do and to achieve, I still try to live better everyday as if it’s my last. I will expect the best and the worst that might happen to me after my 40th. At the same time, I’ll continue to count the blessings I received rather than the bad memories I experienced.

All I know is that my life starts everyday.

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